Your Personal Snowboard Gear Shopper Sherpa
There's personal shoppers in everything and while we continue to provide a free service to all you Snowboarders of the Internet on multiple platforms we're also offering you the opportunity to hire us to help you with your gear purchases. Think of this as actually hiring your local shop guy to help you find that perfect purchase or maybe it's your way of just saying thanks for helping you. Either is totally fine. What's not fine is for all you Time Vampire hand holders that incessantly can't shit or get off the pot and want us to devote hours of our lives to your insufferable questions. That's why we made a specific tier for you.
How it works:
Pick the option that best fits your needs and what you think will work. Once the order has been confirmed and we see what tier you have purchased we will send an email in 24 to 48 hours of receiving it asking some questions. If at any time you suddenly morph into the 4th option the Time Vampire we will stop responding to you. You do not get a refund, you do not get a pat on the back, in fact you might get called out in a video for being so insufferable you can't make up your mind. You have been warned.
1) Quick Advice: You have a quick question that you need answered immediately, sure we could answer it on one of the platforms we're on but this gets it to us directly. This is the cheapest option and will get you an answer in 2 to 3 emails.
2) Serious Advice: You have a rough idea of what you're looking for but you require a bit more hands on approach to get you to the end result you want. While you could wait for a Live Stream Q and A you feel this is better than fighting through a sea of questions. We will ask some questions with the first email to determine a starting point for you, be prepared to fill out a quick questionnaire. This option can be answered in 3 to 8 emails.
3) Beginner/Returning Rider Advice: You don't know where to start, you've done some research, asked some questions, but everyone is pointing you in a different direction and you don't know where to go. This is best for beginners or people that haven't bought new gear in years. This option will require a more hands on approach and might take multiple emails or text messages to get you fully dialed in, we promise to be nice. We will ask some questions with the first email to determine a starting point for you, be prepared to fill out a quick questionnaire.
4) The Hand Holder/Time Vampire: Regardless of what you know, what you've asked, or what you're looking for; you have a fear of commitment. You need to be coddled and told it will be alright. This option takes you from start to finish of the process. It will be the most real you've ever been talked to by a salesperson and it might offend you. In fact you'll probably want a refund because of the way you've been treated. Well Karen, tough shit, this is what you need to be told, not what you want to be told. Could take as little as one to two emails, could take weeks upon weeks of emails where you're badgered mentally beyond belief. If worse comes to worse you will get a direct phone call telling you to shit or get off the pot. This is not for the weak at heart! Seriously, if you're a Time Vampire you are the worst that's why we are charging so much!
Daniel "Thanks for the help Avran! I like your straight shooting honest reviews and wanted to get your advice before I make my first board purchase!"
Brian "Thanks for the info! I think this concept is a great idea. I wish you a long snow filled winter and hope Covid doesn't interrupt it too much."
Mark " Avran, No gear questions. I'm all set and just paying you back for all the effort you put into the work you do answering people's questions."